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My brother’s wedding.

September 30, 2012

Quite a lot has gone on over the last month. I finally feel that now I can sit back and sigh with relief now that it’s all over and various things are in order and sorted. I’m terrible, if something needs doing then I simply HAVE to do it right away, I hate lose ends and mess! I’ll write up abut them all as separate posts during this week, but shall start with the wedding.

I knew it was not going to be an easy day to deal with, but wanted to achieve 3 things and I knew to do so would make me very happy:

1) blend in and appear as normal as possible on the day. No pots attacks, or seizures in front of anyone, no use of the wheelchair etc.

2) manage to sit through the ceremony and witness my brother and sister-in-law getting married.

3) appear in all the professional photos (again looking as normal as possible).

I am proud to say that I managed all three!!

My body was pumping with uncontrollable adrenaline all day and I managed to stand up and function fairly normally despite my heart pounding through my entire body. I was nauseous, dizzy (talking to family members, but completely out of it so have no idea who, what where or when or what was going on!) hopefully they didn’t notice or think me rude at the time. On top of that, my heart rate was racing – even sitting during the ceremony I clocked my pulse at 110bpm, but much faster standing obviously.

After the ceremony, boiling hot in my ushers suit and unable to see properly through my massively dilated pupils, we went outside. My brother (I’d just like to point out that I have two very understanding and amazing brothers) anyway my older brother, despite the pressures of it being his wedding day, still sought out to make things easy for me. So we got all the photos that featured me done first!

By this point I was faced with hanging around making small talk, but my heart was fluttering all over the place… I had pushed myself as far as I could, I knew I needed to rest. Upstairs in my parents hotel room I crashed out on the bed exhausted. My body had effectively been running a race all day! My other younger brother saw me to the room, before leaving me to go and have his meal (which I skipped as I knew sitting to eat would end badly and I’d fail on achievement 1).

Dad came and checked on me just before they were about to eat. and I insisted I would be fine (I think we both knew I wasn’t, but I wasn’t about to ruin the day for anyone). half hour later I was having a seizure, so phoned my younger brother and he and dad came back to help me through it (good timing on my part as I managed to have it between starters and main course!).

My older brother (the one getting married), text me during his meal to say all was fine and to comfort me as I had broken down in tears during the seizure, exclaiming that I wish I could have been normal for just one day, just to get through the whole day, have the meal, hear the speeches etc…

Before the evening started my younger brother drove me home (previously planned as I knew with pots that I would not have coped with the hustle and bustle and loud music). Once home I went to bed.

It was a very long and very difficult day to handle, both mentally and physically. But, and this is a big but, I did achieve the 3 things I wanted to achieve before I went!

 

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2 Comments
  1. I have my daughters wedding next month and I don’t know how I am going to make it through the day. Having POTS you try to look and act as normal as possible, but so many people don’t understand POTS. I’m afraid that if I disappear from the reception people are going to think I am being rude. Being the mother of the bride, I know that I am going to push myself too far and am afraid something bad is going to happen. Any advice would be helpful. Thank you in advance.

    • Hi Dawn,

      It’s difficult isn’t it, I was the same with my brother’s wedding, but spoke with my brother and sister-in-law and they both assured me to rest etc and disappear if I needed to. Obviously it’s much harder for you to just disappear being the mother of the bride, but if you had to then as long as your daughter and son-in-law understand then I guess thats the main thing.

      We try so hard to appear normal despite feeling horrendous inside and that’s just not obvious to a lot of people. I’d try do drink plenty of water during the day and grab a seat whenever you can. If you do have to stand for any period of time, then try going to move about (raising your heels up and down will tighten your calve muscles and automatic push the pooling blood back up to your heart) I always feel silly doing this standing in line at the post office, but it really does help, although once the music starts at the wedding, at least you can tie it in with dancing 🙂

      I really hope you can enjoy the day and your pots doesn’t get in the way too much!

      All the best,

      Liam

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